Potty Training: When and How to Do It

Potty training is one of the most anticipated (and dreaded) milestones for parents. The good news: if you wait for the right moment, it will be much easier than you think.

When is the right time?

There's no fixed age. Most children are ready between 24 and 36 months, but some get there earlier and others later. The key is to watch for signs of readiness, not the calendar.

Physical signs

• The diaper stays dry for at least 2 hours at a time
• The child can walk and sit down confidently
• They have regular and predictable bowel movements
• They notice when the diaper is wet or soiled and communicate it

Cognitive and emotional signs

• Understands simple instructions ("sit here," "put it away")
• Communicates needs (with words or gestures)
• Shows interest in the bathroom or the potty
• Wants to imitate parents or older siblings
• Is in a cooperative phase (not in the middle of a full-blown tantrum stage)

How to go about it

Phase 1: preparation

• Buy a potty and leave it in the bathroom -- the child needs to see it, touch it, get used to it
• Read books about the potty together (there are so many to choose from)
• Show them how it works (explain what you do when you go to the bathroom)
• Let the child sit on the potty fully clothed to get comfortable

Phase 2: off with the diaper

• Choose a calm period (a few days at home with no plans)
• Remove the diaper and put on underwear (not pull-ups -- they feel too much like a diaper)
• Offer the potty at regular intervals (every 30-45 minutes, after meals, right after waking up)
• Don't ask "do you need to go potty?" (the answer will always be no) -- just take them and suggest it
• Celebrate every success without going overboard

Phase 3: consolidation

• In the following weeks, extend the diaper-free time to short outings
• Always bring a complete change of clothes with you
• Nighttime comes last -- often months after daytime

Accidents

Accidents are normal and inevitable. They will happen for weeks, sometimes months.

How to react

• Don't scold -- ever. The child isn't doing it on purpose
• Clean up calmly and simply say: "Next time, let's try to do it on the potty"
• Don't go back to diapers (except for nighttime and naps)

When there are too many accidents

If after 2-3 weeks of consistent attempts your child has more accidents than successes, they might not be ready yet. It's perfectly fine to take a break for a few weeks and try again.

The nighttime diaper

Nighttime dryness depends on the maturation of a hormone (ADH) that reduces urine production at night. It's not under the child's control.

• Remove the nighttime diaper when it is dry upon waking for at least 2 consecutive weeks
• This can happen shortly after daytime potty training or even 1-2 years later
• Occasional bedwetting is normal up to age 5-6

Common mistakes

• Starting too early due to social pressure or daycare requirements
• Using punishment or shaming
• Going back and forth between diapers and underwear
• Comparing with siblings or friends
• Getting stressed -- the child picks up on your anxiety

Potty training isn't a race. Your child will get there -- at their own pace, with your support.